(This is the first blog in a series of blogs entitled “Brado’s Quarter-Life Crisis” for the Meltdownshow.com. Enjoy.)
This is the first sign of a full blown quarter-life crisis: an attempt at reattaining your once golden 18-year-old body, only to find vomit on the ground ten minuets later…
I’ve been feeling really out of shape lately. This occurred after I let myself go wild on convenience food without running around the block a few times to make up for it. I’ll blame the Costco pizza and Kirkland Signature rotisserie chicken on my eating transgressions this time.
This forced me to go to Walmart of all places and get a really cheap elliptical hybrid…
The Weslo Momentum Elliptical G 3.2!
As you can tell from the picture I enjoy ironing, relaxing with leopard skin pillows, PS2, Netflix and light reading with The Beatles while I exercise…
In the past week I’ve progressed to about an hour a day, or the time it takes to watch an episode of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report back-to-back on the ol’ computer. Jon Stewart’s guests seem to satisfy the muscle burn.
Close to two years ago I got caught up in this juice cleansing thing. You know, that thing where you don’t eat real American food like Panda Express or Del Taco, instead opting to drink kale and beet juice with ginger five times a day. Needless to say it didn’t work, but it felt great for the few weeks that I tried it.
And I have to hand it to Costco for providing a few weeks worth of “healthy” food that I can juice or chew on without worry of going broke.
Bottled water, Special K (I like the strawberries), organic brown rice, vegetarian lasagna, “rice rollers,” Lysol wipes and detergent (to keep my stuff clean) bananas, apples, and oranges (you can see my juicer in the picture) and peanut butter filled pretzels (which an old lady really struggled to sell me at a demo). Total bill: $88.42
I figure that the $89 I spent on good food was better than eating once a day for a month at the Costco food court (the $2.75 pizza and soda combo), or the equivalent of visiting Carl’s Jr. fourteen times. That is what I did in the months of September and October and I gained twenty pounds of belly…
Next week I’ll report on my progress with cutting out pizza and getting elliptical every day. I’m staying away from posting a before picture until I have an adequate after picture to compare it to.
In the mean time I’ll just report that my back is sore and I’m craving a Double-Double.